|
#39 Heather Wolnick
Height: 5'4"
Weight:
Nicknames:
Position: Defensive handler
Zodiac Sign:
Previous teams: Penn State Isis, Fury, Brown Chicken Brown Cow
|
Once upon a time, Casper the friendly ghost was at the bar and getting
REALLY drunk. He had just had his show cancelled and was hitting the
bottle hard. There was a ton of ghost discrimination at that time and
he really wasn't sure what to do. That was until Peggy Fleming walked
into the bar. Like an angel from a dream, Casper sauntered up, started
talking to her, and the rest was history.
A few years later their child, Heather was born. This pasty white,
silky smooth figure skater quickly began breaking hearts and records
all through high school. After winning every possible medal she
suffered a tragic career ending injury when a jealous Tonya Harding
attacked her knee with a mace and baseball bat.
Seeking to escape the cutthroat world of competitive figure skating,
she found Ultimate Frisbee. She quickly began dominating frisbee
fields the same way she had dominated the ice. After a few brushes
with the law that left the Penn State team suspended for two years,
she made her way to California and began pursuing her law career so
that she could clear her record. Now a well versed legal scholar,
she'll school you on the field and sue you off it. She may be 39 on
the field, but she is #1 in our hearts. |
