#7 Sarah "Carny" Carnahan
Zodiac Sign: Pisces
Awards: SuperLame Rookie of the Year
Years with Mischief: 2010
Sarah "Carny" Carnahan has a couple dolphins in her family tree. Her amazing aquatic abilities earned her a full Superlame scholarship to the University of Puget Sound, where she was such a valued recruit that they did away with academics and created a multi-million dollar Superlame program -- all to offer her the scholarship. Even without any other players on her team, she still managed to win the national championship 4 years in a row.
After graduating college and touring the Brazilian leagues, she got in a freak gasoline fight accident which kept her out of the water. In the meantime, she picked up ultimate frisbee and earned numerous rookie-of-the-year awards. After creating a media frenzy now known as "The Superlamest Decision," she decided to take her talents to South Beach. However, she quickly realized that she was on the wrong coast and moved to Southern California. There she physically put her whole team on her back and carried them to victory -- all while avoiding paparazzi, adoring fans and a few rabid dogs.
Right at the trade deadline, her GM made the worst trade of his life, sending Carny to Northern California for 16 billion dollars, a stake in the Skittles franchise and 12 magic beans. Ever since Carny joined Mischief our opponents have been plagued by nightmares. We don't blame 'em.