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#25 Gretchen Lin-Sponburgh Safdie

Height: 5'4"
Position: Pitcher, second base
Worst injury: Broken eyelash
Years with Mischief: 2009-present
Gretchen Lin-Sponburgh Safdie could probably give herself a few more monikers and hyphenate them all into one uber-descriptive name. Our suggestion? Gretchen Lin-Sponburgh Let's-Go-Giants-We-Need-More-Gin-And-Tonics-Right-The-Fuck-Now Safdie.

The theme of Gretchen's life has always been and continues to be one thing: winning. An avid sports fan, Gretchen closely follows a variety of professional and amateur activities, from baseball to mechanical bull riding to competitive eating. Her natural athletic prowess has been recognized globally as well. Last year Gretchen was a guest judge at the Poledancing World Championships in Romania, where she served up withering critiques like "I really don't think you have any polential" and "You wouldn't even make the cut at The Rusty Barnacle."
When Gretchen is not rooting for El Gigantes or schooling people in Wii cheerleading she dominates in Ultimate Frisbee. A true veteran, Gretchen uses her wiles to embarrass opponents, whether they are on offense (they never touch the disc) or on defense (her bomb-ass throws are unstoppable).

Unfortunately for all you men, women and living creatures out there, the incomparably beauteous Gretchen is married to Justin -- a giant in more ways than one, as she likes to tell people. Not only is this power couple very experienced in having a good time, you'd definitely want them backing you up in a fight. Because you know they would throw down.