#6 Matt West
Years with Mischief: 2010-present
You can't tell the story of Matt West without also telling the story of The Godfather Part I and Part II (but not III). Actually, you could choose any movie about a guy starting off down on his luck and then kicking ass and taking names. Any of the illustrious movies in the Rocky franchise will do, particularly the training montages. You'll see why in a second.
It's hard to believe now (given his current baller-shotcaller status) but Matt came from humble beginnings, working his way through college on a juggling scholarship. Determined to do more with his life than toss flaming swords in the air and singeing nary an eyebrow, Matt hit the gym twelve times a day and achieved what the 2002 issue of Men's Health Magazine deemed "the most extreme, enviable six-pack of abs ever." It was while pwning at the gym that he met a few folks in the music biz. Soon Matt began touring internationally as DJ Gyro (he was especially big in Japan), dropping beats and wrecking fools. While playing a club near Wildwood, New Jersey, his killer dance moves and abs inspired future Jersey Shore star Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino to start a strict workout and fist pumping regimen.
Like the Godfather, you can only fly so high before someone stabs you in the back. This is also true of Matt. Although his music attracted adoring fans, it also drew vicious rivals. Lame, no-talent DJs like Moby and Moby's younger brother Dick banned together with rapper Lil Kim and arranged a wakeboarding trip where they swapped his wakeboard with cement in order to watch him sleep with the fishes. Unfortunately for them, Matt used his elite wakeboarding moves to jump deftly from the cement board onto Adam Samberg's passing yacht. This daring escape inspired the hit song, "I'm on a Boat."
Matt realized that he had to reevaluate his life to avoid persecution. His first move was purchasing freakishly red contact lenses to disguise his true eye color. Then he grew a soul patch and traded his turntable for a frisbee and a case of Opus One wine. His spinning skills on turntables quickly translated to spinning discs and before long he was as feared in ultimate frisbee circles as he previously had been on the club scene. Watch out Sarasota, Matt's preparing a sick mashup of "We are the Champions," the Rocky theme song and "Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots Shots" to celebrate our victories. Once you hear it, you'll have no choice but to party with us. It's an offer you can't refuse.